Girl with a grill and a velvet touch...

Today was crazy! First half, awesomely relaxing…

Second half, driving and driving and driving for hours with no luck and no cigar. Literally, I really could have used one.

First half- a quick breakfast of apples, yogurt, VitaTop, the ush….followed by a Pilates strength class where I had so much trouble balancing, the instructor actually asked me out right if I was ready for the other leg…Embarrassing.

Spa day! On the way there, I saw this…um interesting sticker…

It says, "Shwartz Professional Wrestling 27 Years of Experience"

Phew. I was hoping I could find a reliable wrestler soon. I really need some at home entertainment. But anyway, spa day..right...

You guys don't understand I NEVER do these. I get my hair cut. That's it.

So, I asked for a massage as a graduation gift, and my dad obliged. But instead of paying $50 for a massage, I found a Groupon for an hour massage, a manicure, and an amazing facial for $53 doll-hairs!!!!!!!! I had to pluck every one from Skipper, but it was totally worth it.

Here was the picture advertising it…

You'd think with an MBA in marketing, I wouldn't be fooled by advertisements. However, you'd be wrong.

I expected a glowing white place with hibiscus flowers'a plenty.

What I got was this:

 across from Church's chicken.

And a girl with a gold grill doing my massage.

She kinda looked like this:

But you know what? I apologize for ever judging anyone with a grill. This girl ROCKED MY SOCKS OFF! Literally, she made me take my socks off, even though my feet were freezing! But really, she rocked my world.

She had a grill, and yet….hands of velvet. Who'da thunk?

Then, I had my manicure and majorly bonded another chick! Complexions is the shizz.

This lady was from Kansas so we were bonding over the midwest. I've never met an Asian from Kansas before, but I sure like em'.

We were bff's until she guessed I was 16. Years old. 16.

I'm 24.

Yeesh. I no longer like Kasians (asians from Kansas).

I started to like her again when she painted my nails this pretty color

 and started my facial (not that kind of facial, you sicko….)

I've only had a facial once in my life, and it was when I was about 12. Needless to say I don't remember it, but I don't think it was as good as this one.

First she cleansed my face and steamed it to open the pores….

Then she basically "extracted my pores" AKA popped my zits.

It hurt like a mo-fo! WTF. I was not expecting that from a clazzy place like Complexions.

Anywhhways, she followed that by applying an enzyme to exfoliate my face, then a pumpkin resurfacer (you guys KNOW how I feel about pumpkin!!!), then a masque, a head massage, and moisturizer.

I'm basically like a canine when it comes to head scratching or rubbing.

If you scratch my head, I'll be loyal to you forever. I will love you like nobody ever has. Keep that in mind people.

Unless it's with one of these things.

Oh my Lord, these things give me the heeby jeebies. I might punch you involuntarily if you do this to me.

I was so relaxed after this and decided to go driving to check out some of the houses that we found online before going home to pack for Switzerland tomorrow (I know, it sounds like I have an unbelievably luxurious life today, doesn't it???)…

Of course, that didn't work out, and I ended up driving aimlessly until 7!!! I did look at probably 20 houses, but nothing struck a cord with our needs and/or our budget together. I am going crazy, how do people do this for a living? I am way not patient enough to house hunt.

Gggrrr…. I did end up spending a good 20 minutes, though, just driving around Hyde Park just to see the picturesque houses in the area. I could daydream about living there for hours at a times.

Every house there is SOOO adorable and with so much character, but SOOOO out of our budget, it's not even funny.

We headed home to make taco salad, which I have no picture of because the soup in my camera took over again and now the lens won't open (oh yeah, and breakfast and lunch were on there too…). The day before Switzerland. Boo.

Now I am packing like a madman and trying to find a ride to the airport in the morning!

See you in Switzerland :)